You might want to sit down for this one. I’ve got a major #truthbomb coming your way this week.
Change is hard. So hard that you are going to want to quit A LOT.
And you probably will quit (a few times) on the road to lasting change.
The past few years of intense change and growth have been the hardest years of my life. There have been many, many times when I wanted to quit and just go back to my “normal” life. I’ve thrown more tantrums than I care to admit. And I’ve sabotaged myself with the best of them. But through it all I have learned so much about myself, grown, and shed layers of self-doubt, attack thoughts, and years of unhealthy habits.
You are going to resent about how hard change is. If it’s so painful, maybe it’s not right? Why do I have to change while everyone else gets to stay the same? What’s the point?
The point, my dear ones, is that staying the same is so much worse.
It’s worse because it’s so sneaky. Stagnation hides behind comfort. Routine is comfortable even if it’s a crappy routine.
I used to spend my days pretending be to happy and my nights in isolated sadness. I was constantly in pain with debilitating migraines and excruciating stomach cramps. In an attempt to not be the “sick girl” I often hid my mental and physical pain from those around me. Fake it until you make it was my motto but I never seemed to make it. And yet I have longed to go back to my old life on many, many occasions. How insane is that?
You are going to want to go back. What was wrong with my life before? Maybe I was happy?
Even though my life today is so much better (better = healthier, happier, and more at peace) than my life before, it is hard not to look back with rose-colored glasses. It certainly was a lot easier to be miserable than to fight to be happy. Yep, I just said that I’ve had to fight (my ego/fear-based mind) to be happy.
As much as I believe in the act of surrender and allowing the universe to do her thing, there is a lot of action required to change. The universe can lead you to the change but it can’t change for you. And your ego isn’t going to go quietly. It is going to throw epic tantrum after epic tantrum to try to keep you from changing. It is a battle of wills and your will to change has got to be strong.
Change is scary. Who will I be after all of the changing is over? Will I like that person?
I wasn’t a fan of the me three years ago. She was rigid, painfully quiet, devoid of passion, sick, hopeless, numb, and completely uncomfortable in her own skin. She was a shadow. And while I’m not a fan of her, it’s nothing compared to how she felt about herself. She loathed herself. She didn’t have a nice thing to say about herself. And that makes my heart ache for her. Even so, I knew her. And it was easy – painful but easy – to be her. I’d been her for what seemed like my whole life. If I wasn’t her, who was I?
Change is hard for those around you. What if my friends and family don’t want me to change? Or don’t like me anymore?
When you hop aboard the change express you take everyone you know along for the ride. And some of them will really hate the destination. Even though you are the one changing, it impacts everyone around you. And some people will hop off the train. They’re just not going where you’re going and that is okay. Your destination is right for you and their destination is right for them. I recently heard it described in a way that really resonated with me. When you begin to change you start vibrating at a different frequency. And your frequency is going to soothe some and annoy others. Don’t judge your frequency or that of those around you. You are where you need to be.
Change is a team sport. How can I possibly do this on my own? (ps: you don’t have to!)
Letting go of limiting beliefs, unhealthy habits, a lifetime of self-doubt, perfectionism, and debilitating stress is work. And I couldn’t do it alone. I worked with amazing coaches, mentors, and friends. They supported me as I rebuilt my life from the ground up. I am the happiest, healthiest, and most alive that I have ever been and it’s my honor to help others feel the same. Interested in working with me? I have a few coaching slots open and would love to support you on the road to lasting change!