It was recently my birthday and I sat down to write my yearly birthday post where I share the life lesson I learned the previous year. I wasn’t sure what to write about and considered skipping it altogether. The truth is — this was a hard year. Maybe the hardest yet. Which is surprising because I feel like I’ve had some hard years. But this year came as a total shock, threw my for a loop and totally took me out. And as I was reflecting back on the year my lesson bubbled up to the surface:
I thought that I healed all that I had to heal. The major stuff at least. I’d been doing the work for years. Cleaned up my diet. Eliminated foods that weren’t serving me. Swapped out toxic products. Finally started to sleep. Meditated. Did yoga. Journaled. Learned how to manage stress. Found my tribe. Felt at home in my own skin.
I was the healthiest and happiest that I ever remembered being. More than I ever even imagined. I had a great job. My relationship was strong. I started my coaching business. I felt at peace.
And then life happened. My great job stopped being so great. I couldn’t sleep. My body felt like it was shutting down. It became a struggle just to get up in the morning. And I couldn’t even remember what peace felt like.
Honestly, I’m still finding my way out of this place. But what I’ve realized is that this past year has been a call to go deeper. To heal more. To FEEL more. To truly surrender and allow. And it’s not easy. In fact it’s really effing hard. It’s terrifying to feel like your body is betraying you. To feel disconnected from your body. To feel sick and not know why (still working on this one). To go days without sleep. And to question if all of this health and spiritual stuff is even worth it (it totally is, btw). It’s easy to allow sadness, illness and fear to consume you. It’s comfortable to dwell in the darkness and cozy up next to misery. It’s tempting to allow you ego to take over.
Even though it’s been stressful, heartbreaking and overwhelming, I’m now able to look back at this year with gratitude. I’m grateful for the reminder that there is always more to heal. That there is no such thing as a setback. That the universe doesn’t give me anything that I’m not prepared to handle. That hard doesn’t mean wrong. That health truly does start on the inside. That emotional weight is far heavier than physical weight. That I am so much stronger than I think I am. That more to heal doesn’t mean that I am broken.
This year might have been one of the hardest but I’m starting to see just how important it has been. It’s left me raw. It’s brought me deeper. It’s invited me to show up for what’s up. It might have just been the best year of my life.
I’m ready to continue to journey. It be curious about my fear. To heal my physical body. To devote myself to my spiritual practice. To allow myself to let go. To shed more emotional weight. To find freedom and truly live.
There is always more to heal. And I’m willing to do the work.
If you’re ready to heal more, feel more and shed your emotional weight, sign up for your free session now. I’d love to support you on the journey to becoming more yourself.