“Are you body shaming yourself?”

Affirmative.

I just got called out in a major way.  Today I slid down the rabbit hole of body shaming courtesy of my bathing suit.  And luckily my boyfriend was there to lift me out and bring me back to reality.

On an average day I am pretty nice to my body.  But not today.  Today I said truly awful things.  Today I called myself a big fat cow.  (yikes)  Like most women, the idea of wearing a bathing suit is not high on my list.  In fact I usually get through the summer without suiting up – mostly on purpose.  But tomorrow we’re planning to spend the day at the pool for much needed sun and swim.  I’d been dreading trying on my bathing suit and when I did I was instantly transported to crazytown.

All of the self-love work I’ve done went out the window.  All of my spiritual tools ignored.  It was ugly.  I said gross things about myself – and that’s just what I verbalized – what was going on in my head was way, way worse.  I said and thought things that I would NEVER say or think about another person.

And it left me feeling sick – I instantly got a headache and my stomach was in knots.  Self-attack is draining.  And it’s really easy to get caught in it and spiral.  I’m sure I’d still be going at it, if Andrew hadn’t been my reality check.  But luckily he was and it allowed me to reach for my tools and turn things around.

body

I’m sharing this post because I know someone out there is down the rabbit hole right now.  And I want to pull you out like Andrew did for me.  I want to remind you that you and your body are BEAUTIFUL!  As my amazing friend Katie posted on IG earlier this week:

Your body, yes this one you happen to be in right now is the perfect ideal one for you. – Katie Dalebout

You are so much more than the number of the scale, the size of your bathing suit, or any “imperfection” that you see in yourself.  None of that is real.  None of it matters.

What matters is that you are kind, you love, you smile at strangers, you are of service.  All that matters is that you love yourself.  All that matters is that you treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend.

So, please, please, please step away from crazytown right now.  Forgive yourself for being so mean.  And keep forgiving yourself.  Even if you don’t really believe it…just do it anyway.  You can use this affirmation:

I am willing to see this differently.  I am willing to forgive myself.  I invite love to wash over me.

Call you friend and ask for help.  Meditate.  Journal.  Plug in your headphones and go for a walk with your favorite playlist or podcast.  Cuddle your dog.  Write a love letter to your body.  Basically do anything other than bashing your body.

And tomorrow I’ll be rocking my bathing suit, enjoying my time in the sun, and loving every inch of my body.  Because I deserve nothing less.